positive

Turns out I’m staying up nights, so my mind turned to night jobs.

If I can’t get my ass out of bed in the morning, I might as well work at night.

Well, I just applied at Toys R’ Us for a back of the house stocker position.

I also applied several places for jobs online with indeed.com.  I just put in night jobs in the search engine and then up popped several jobs in the area.  I really don’t think I’m right for any of them, but I probably am just starting my search.  The right job will find me, I am sure of it.

I really try to be positive in this blog, which I hope my readers appreciate.

Here I am

I’ve been up in the night, when it’s not good to go job hunting.

However it has been good for some things: Worrying.  Being annoyed with myself for not being up in the morning.  Thinking about jobs.  Comparing myself with other people.  Wondering if I’ll ever have a Morning Time with God.  Asking my mom about things we are going to do together in the day time.  Writing grocery lists.   Doing nothing.  Stumblingupon.  Writing bad poetry.  Worrying about my future more.  Spacing out.  Drinking coffee and knowing I’ll never get any sleep.  Thinking about writing bad copy on textbroker and then checking it out and thinking better of it.  Wishing it was morning so I could “get stuff done.”   Writing blog posts about how bored I am.  Being generally anxious.

Makes me think that a night job or early morning would be great for me.  I haven’t gone that route yet.

Slump

Well, it’s New Years Day and all of you know that I have been planning on going around gathering part time applications.

I have this nagging fear that if I put it off, I will find myself never doing it, or doing it badly later.   Because I used up all the good feelings waiting and putting it off.

However, due to the cold and the wackiness of the holidays, I have decided to wait.  This coming week and probably next week, I’ll be going around gathering applications and networking with the people in the stores, so they know me a little better and I don’t have to face cold, unfeeling online applications.

I am very frightened.  I know I am less than qualified because of my lack of social skills.  However, I can wash dishes.  Which is what the Cheesecake Factory hires for this season.  It will give me a job I can make money at, while pursuing my real dreams of writing.  It is definitely a need and I have a lot to offer with my successful experience at other jobs.

Maybe this post will inspire me a little to get off my bum and attack getting a job head on.

I’m really worried that the hirer will “get a weird feeling” from me.  I guess that’s not a big deal, he (or she) probably hires a lot of weird people.

Or that for some cosmic reason, I’m “not supposed” to get a job.  I don’t know.  There’s a lot of water to go under that  bridge.  So I’ll just keep myself in my prayers.